the heart can never ever win in these sorts of situations..

i loved him,
and he left.
its not like he wanted to but he had to.
it wasnt healthy for him or me.
so i guess it was good.
a good decision, but it tears me apart.
even the best decisions in the world
its not meant to be, i tell myself this over and over and over and over again.
it was supposed to be like this, this is what someone or something set out for me.
i'm supposed to hurt. cos i mean things cant get any worse when im at rock bottom.
but man, they were wrong.
you want to move on, you want to feel happy again, cos you're so damn tired of crying and resenting and asking what if, what if. and its just being in love with a dream, a fucking fantasy.
and i cant let it go.
sure its not supposed to be but i never wanted anything more in my life.
like its like someone just comes with a knife, takes a piece of you.
and burns it.
you can never get it back
but i miss it.

alas, theres someone else.
who has the same problem.
but he doesnt want to let go.

..
i cant win.
ever.
i want him, he wants her, now i miss the other him, and he, i dont know. but i can bet you a trillion dollars he's gotten over me.

the one left with nothing AGAIN. is me.
but you know, ive gotten so used to the heartbreak, its like
a math problem ive dealed with before
sure its complicated, but now i have the formula, which i can use YET again.
it sucks.
"its not meant to be"

if nothings not meant to be,
then why try anymore?
it stinks.